I had a revelation

I think I’ve figured out just why I like history so much and why I prefer to read about history over modern day affairs.  Although I have very strong political ideals and am very interested in what happens in the political arena, I find that I actually avoid reading too much about it.  I’m not one of those people who soaks up blogs and books and newspapers and radio shows about politics.  Perhaps I should be, but I’m not.

See, the thing is, I’m a very empathetic person – empathetic to a fault, perhaps.  The suffering of other people actually makes my heart hurt.  This empathy is absolutely the foundation of my political beliefs, but it’s also why it’s often difficult for me to read about modern day issues.  Reading about people dying in Darfur or children starving in our own streets makes me want to cry.  It actually hurts, physically; when I say that it makes my heart hurt, I mean that literally.  I feel a squeezing in my heart and an ache in my guts when I read these things.  And other news just makes me angry, so much so that I clench my fists and grit my teeth.  Reading about avaricious pharmaceutical companies or lying CEOs just makes me want to scream.

On the other hand, history is calming and even uplifting for me because history is already fixed.  Problems of the past have been made better.  (I’m of the camp who firmly believes that human belief systems have evolved mostly for the better over time.)  We repudiated slavery.  Women can now vote, own property, choose to divorce, etc.  Children aren’t forced to labor in unsafe working conditions.  (Although I recognize that even today, these things still occur in other parts of the world.)  I think it makes me feel good and, more importantly, optimistic to see how humanity has progressed.  It gives me hope that all of the other social ills I see can one day be fixed as well.  I doubt we can ever reach “perfection,” because I also believe that while humans are inherently good, we are also inherently flawed.  But reading about history provides a bit of a balm for the sadness and anger that I feel about too many things that happen today.

Official bullying

Over the last week, I’ve been filling out the zillion or so forms necessary for Maggie to start kindergarten.  (Say wha’?  This could be a very long entry on its own.  In fact, it probably will be eventually.)  Among them is the waiver I must sign because we’ve chosen to decline the varicella and Prevnar vaccines. 

And it pisses me off.

Michigan actually has fairly liberal laws regarding vaccinations.  A parent can decline them for any reason; in many states only religious or medical waivers are allowed.  But based on the paperwork we receive, you’d be hard pressed to know this.  All of them refer to the vaccinations as “mandatory.”  Then somewhere in fine print it will mention that waivers are available.  And then the waiver itself nearly drips with a ”you are an irresponsible parent and a terrible human being” vibe.  In fact, there is a note to school administrators to only give the form out “when necessary.”  Um, excuse me?  It’s not up to the receptionist at the school to decide to give me that form, nor is it her job to counsel me on whether or not I should vaccinate.  It is my legal right to obtain the waiver (and in defense of the schools, both times I’ve needed to request them, no one has hassled me – it’s simply the wording on the form that raises my hackles), and that little notice is unnecessary and clearly only placed there to remind those who receive it that the state disagrees with us. 

What I want to know is, why is it so bad for a parent to make an informed decision?  I don’t think most people who don’t vaccinate do it lightly.  Those who decline them for religious reasons may not have done any significant research, but we (rightfully so) cut people a lot of slack in this country to follow their religious beliefs, no matter how strongly we may disagree with them.  And the people who decline them for medical reasons have almost certainly done research and/or been counseled by their doctors.  (And in any case, there is a separate form for medical waivers that I suspect is less hostile.)  So then what about the rest of us?  The ones who decline for personal reasons?  To be completely honest, I don’t think most people even know they have the right to choose; as I’ve just explained, the forms all make that very unclear.  Most doctors don’t even discuss the issue unless the parents bring it up, and the majority will try to disuade you.  (Which is another vent for another day.)  So for those of who have actually questioned the necessity of some/all vaccines, I can assure you that almost all of us have done significant research.

And not without a lot of teeth gnashing and hair pulling, might I add.  It’s not easy to make a decision that goes so strongly against what is accepted as the norm in our culture, and which many people consider downright irresponsible.  I’ve done lots and lots of research, which is more than most people who choose to ACCEPT the vaccinations can say.  And to be honest, there are other vaccinations I think about declining, but the research isn’t quite as strong for me, so even though my gut is against them, I do them anyway.  I’m too hesitant to rock the boat anymore than I already do. 

So although it doesn’t surprise me, it still makes me angry that after making an informed and difficult decision, there are still so many out there who disrespect my choice.  Who make it more difficult not only for me to exercise my choice, but for others to know that there even IS a choice.  Why is this one of the few things that is almost not even up for rational debate (like breastfeeding or spanking) among mainstream parents?  I am a good parent, and I don’t take this decision lightly.  Let me make it without trying to bully me into submission.

Wow, this thing really IS on

Sheesh, this is only my second blog.  The other one was at Blogger.  (Long rant, but they LOST my blog.  It’s still viewable, but it poofed from my dashboard, and no one can tell me why, when they bother to respond to me at all.)  In the couple of months that I had it, although it was technically public, no one (to my knowledge) visited it other than the family and friends I’d sent the address to.  Well, not counting the porn spammers, of course.

So imagine my surprise to find that in about 30 minutes, I already had 2 comments on my insurance vent!  I’m not sure how I feel about this.  The egotistical side of me is thrilled to have anyone outside of my own little corner of the universe acknowledge my existence and respond to my thoughts and ideas.  The childish side of me doesn’t like that they disagree with me, haha.  Most of the people who I send this address to personally are pretty much on the same wavelength as I am about most things, so it was a bit of a surprise to read my 2 comments.

That said, I’m not sure how one goes about debating in a blog.  I’m not particularly sure I even have the time to participate in a blog debate!  But I do welcome comments, whether they agree with me or disagree with me, and know that I read them all, whether I can reply or not.

Regarding that particular post, since I’ve got the time, I’ll make these two points:

1. I agree that there are problems with the way we work malpractice in this country, and it extends beyond the problems with health insurance.  You might call me a bit of a birth junkie, and I’m beyond frustrated at how constrained women’s choices have become because doctors are frightened of a malpractice suit.  The concept of malpractice is a very good and important one, and I think there are times when large awards are justified, but I also think the system is abused.  In fact, as a whole, Americans go overboard with lawsuits. 

2. I know that nationalized health care isn’t perfect in other countries.  However, I respectfully disagree that what we have is better.  The one advantage of our country being so behind in implementing nationalized health care is that we can learn from the mistakes of others.  I fully believe that in this great nation, there are people out there intelligent enough to figure out how to take the good from all the systems to create the best system.  Not a perfect system, because nothing is perfect, but the best system.

And also, on the point of being willing to pay more – well, not everyone has that luxury.  For all too many Americans, there is no extra money to rearrange to pay for outrageous health costs.  A full-time, minimum-wage job is barely enough to pay rent.  Then add in food, utilities, child care, transportation, and all the other costs of day-to-day life, and there’s no room to pay $230 in medical costs in a single month.  And even for those families like my own who are making beyond minimum wage, it’s still a struggle.  We’re lucky enough to be able to swing it, but I know of many people who couldn’t.  And as it is, it’s going to make this an interesting month.  It seems that with every passing year, insurance is becoming less and less affordable, even for fairly comfortable middle-class families.

A vent about the American health care system

If I had the magical ability to change one thing about America, it would be fixing our sadly broken health care system.  I am an enormous advocate of some sort of nationalized medicine.  I’ll honestly admit that I have no idea how it would work at this point, but I also think that Congress is doing very little to work out a constructive solution when it should be an absolute priority.  From about the time I got married and was faced for the first time with the reality of affording health care in this country, I’ve considered this a pressing issue.  It’s something I talk about with people often, and it seems that everyone agrees that the current system is deeply flawed, and yet things seem only to get steadily worse.

This is something weighing particularly heavily on my mind right now due to the month we’re having.  Let me preface this by saying that we have relatively decent health care and Nate makes a relatively decent salary.  Now his health problems do put us in a different category from people who only see the doctor for sick visits, but as you’ll see in a moment, that only accounts for a small amount of our current predicament.  The bigger issue is actually dealing with a simple illness.

Gus has bronchitis.  He caught the cold we all had, but for some reason, it progressed to bronchitis.  Because he’s only 4 months old, we’re all being very cautious; things can turn bad very quickly with such a tiny one.  So since Thursday, we’ve been to the doctor twice, urgent care once, and paid for 3 prescriptions.  You want to know what this has cost us? $135 dollars.  And we’re very lucky that urgent care was able to treat him, because if we’d had to go to the ER, the total would have been $235.  And if he’d been admitted to the hospital?  $335. 

Just 2 months ago, the total would all have come to $95.  Our insurance raised ALL of our copays – some by as much as 100% – as of the first of the year.  And the real irony?  Our premiums also DOUBLED.  (And this is the third time they’ve gone up in as many years.)  We’re actually having to pay more to get less coverage.

Making this month particularly difficult is the fact that Gus’s bronchitis isn’t our only medical expense.  Two weeks ago, he had a well child visit: $25.  At that visit, I talked to his doctor about my concerns that he might have scoliosis.  Gus has torticollis, which bends his neck, so he’s been seeing a chiropractor and a physical therapist.  (Both of these are, thankfully, free.  The chiropractor is free because I’m a patient of hers, and she doesn’t charge for children.  Insurance does not cover chiropractic care at all.  They do, however, cover up to 60 visits with a phyiscal therapist for a single condition, which is why the PT is free.)  The chiro, the PT, and myself all noticed the bend in his back and hoped it was simply from the torticollis, but an X-ray was necessary to know for sure.  So I talked to his pediatrician about ordering an X-ray, and it was clear he thought I was being a hypochondriac, but he gave me the order to placate me.  Unfortunately, I wasn’t being a hypochondriac; he does have scoliosis.  So now we’ll have a $35 copay next week to see an orthopedist.  (Specialists used to have the same copay as primary physicians, but they changed that with the copay restructuring at the 1st of the year.)  And finally, Nate has another post-surgical follow up with his ophthalmologist on Friday, which will be another $35.  So our grand total for the period from February 12th to March 2nd will be $230.  (It’s a good thing I’m not pregnant anymore because I had to pay my copay at EACH visit, and a pregnancy that goes to its due date will typically result in a minimum of fourteen visits to the doctor – and that’s prior to labor and delivery.)  Edited to add – And how could I forget?  Gus also has a follow up with the pediatrician on Thursday to make sure he is recovering from the bronchitis, so that’s another $25, bringing the grand total to $255.

How is the average middle class family supposed to make ends meet during a month when they have to spend $255 on medical care, above and beyond their premium.  Certainly, if a family has no debt and plenty of savings, it would be no big deal.  But most middle class families, for reasons both within and without their control, are not fortunate enough to have either of these.  So where does the $255 come from?  If they’ve got some room on credit cards, that’s where it will go.  Otherwise, they’ll probably end up behind on bills or living off of peanut butter sandwiches and beans and ramen noodles.  But what happens if that month isn’t an anomaly?  What if someone gets cancer or has a car accident and a month that only cost $255 was a good one?  The out of pocket costs are staggering and wholly overwhelming.  A 2005 report in Health Affairs found that nearly half of all bankruptices in 2001 resulted from medical expenditures, even though 75% of those filing for this reason had health insurance! 

We’ll manage to scrape it all together this month, in part by buckling down on our few “luxuries” (dinner at Ruby Tuesdays! a movie from Hollywod Video!) and a little extra help from our families who are, fortunately, in a position to be able to help.  But we’re among the lucky ones – for now, at least.  It can all turn on a dime, and that’s very scary.

Something clearly is not working.