As much as I still can’t wrap my mind around it, my baby boy turned 1 today. And I was so proud of myself. I did really well all day. No tears, good spirits…yay! We had a simple, fun day. No big party, just dinner and cake as a family.
After devouring cake – his first sugar ever! – and making a thorough mess in the process, he got a bath, and we put our big boy to bed. Nate and I watched some TV, and then he headed to bed, too. I decided to stay up just a bit longer because I was trying to remove all the tags from the MASSIVE amount of clothes his Grandma gave him.
When I was done, I hopped online for a few minutes. I had posted birthday threads on a couple of my favorite message boards, including a brief retrospective of pictures: hours old, 3 months, 6 months, 9 months, and 2 from today. I checked the threads to read the new replies, and again I had to go back to my original post and look at the pictures.
And suddenly, it just washed over me. My chin started to tremble, and my eyes welled up. And I just knew that I needed to have a good cry. So rather than try to gather myself back together, I succumbed to the inevitable. I went to my online photo album and perused all the pictures from Gus’s first month and cried my eyes out.
It was funny seeing how much he has changed, and yet how essentially Gus-like he was from the very outset. Even as a days- or weeks-old newborn, he had certain expressions and habits that he still has now. So often, people think that all newborns look alike, and most of the time I wouldn’t really disagree. They just don’t really seem to have individual personalities at that age. And yet here was photographic evidence that Gus was Gus long before we all thought he was Gus. 
So there are my birthday ponderings. It’s hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that this is likely my last 1st birthday. Even though lately I feel more and more comfortable with the idea of being done with two, much moreso than I ever expected to, that also means coming to terms with the idea that all of Gus’s firsts are now the last firsts I’ll ever experience. I want to hang on to these baby days as long as possible, but I’m inexorably swept along by time. Everyday, he changes a bit more, becomes his own person a bit more. And although it’s delightful to see, I won’t pretend it’s not bittersweet.
In closing, I’ll post the photo retrospective I mentioned earlier, as well as a few wonderful pictures from present time and cake time.
Day 1
3 months
6 months (and hatching a plot to rule the world…)
9 months
1 year!!!
With all his gifts:
Loving his brand new playsilks:
Kisses from Mama:
My horribly embarrassing attempt at cake decorating (I swear, it looked even worse in person), including Gus’s own little personal cupcake:
Clearly enjoying his first taste of sugar!
The aftermath:
October 12, 2007 at 1:06 pm
I cannot believe our boys are one. I can totally relate, BTW. I have been having a hard time realizing that I am never going to do pregnancy or that first year ever again
I am so glad Gus is doing so well and has caught up. Esp since it gives me hope that Ryan can catch up from his current delays now that we know there is a problem
*hugs*
Karen
October 12, 2007 at 2:38 pm
Karen, the year has flown by, hasn’t it? I didn’t know that Ryan was having issues; I’ve been very out of the loop lately. I’m hopeful for you. I firmly believe that, absent a serious medical condition, most kids will overcome most delays by school. Then we only have to worry about if they are reading, writing, doing math, socializing, interacting, etc. at an appropriate level. No stress there, right? HA!
October 12, 2007 at 4:11 pm
No- I jknew you rpob wouldn’t know… the only place I posted so far was Dear Diary at the Pit. I haven’ty been very active on SE in a long time- job and kids occupy all my posting time
Ryan cannot straighten his knees- turns out he has contractures in both knees- worse in the right- and they are now testing him for juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. I knew he was late on everything but honestly didn’t think it was something so potentially serious… we’ll see
October 13, 2007 at 9:37 am
I can NOT believe he’s a year already! Ack!
What a cutie pie!